This week the biggest kid gets to commute into the city with me for reasons I’ll leave out (all good stuff).

It’s striking to watch him. This little person that used to be a little ball of a human. I watch the way his eyes light up when he sees something for the first time; the way he talks to me about things I pretend I don’t know about because I can’t get enough of hearing his thoughts on everything.

This stirs a lot of emotions inside me that I don’t want to let go of but sometimes wish weren’t there. I never know if I’m doing any of this right, but he goes and makes my heart swell with pride and I know it must be more him than me—I’m just not that good at this adulting thing; can’t be.

What a gift.