Better fictional Italians to celebrate than Christopher Columbus:
- Chef Boyardee
- Tony Soprano
- Rocky Balboa
- Uncle Paulie
- Every member of the Corleone family except Fredo, because fuck Fredo.
- The stupid stereotypical picture on some pizza boxes
- That thing from the Little Ceasar’s commercials
- The Noid (was he Italian?)
- Get Your Fucking Shinebox
- Al Pacino’s ridiculous portrayals of a Cuban/Puerto Rican
You know what? I’m all about celebrating Joe Pesci. That man’s a fucking treasure. We should have a Joe Pesci day – we can get kids shineboxes, set elaborate/painful traps in our homes, and accuse our siblings of fucking our wives.
Or maybe, just maybe, we need to stop celebrating holidays that were started by a pack of morons who liked equating themselves with knights, wizards, or random mammals as an excuse to drink their privileged lives away.
Happy Indigenous Peoples Day, folks.
Fuck Christopher Columbus.