Terrible, terrible pun for a headline. I’d regret it if I wasn’t shamelessly writing weekly blog posts for attention.
You ever find yourself in that place where almost everything you say or do is wrong? I’m not talking that internal version of this – the insecurity that can come off with sticking your neck out – I mean like, folks literally shitting on every single thing you say or do? People correcting your course because you’re either not “conveying it right” or aren’t laying out ideas in a way that’s “consumable to everyone”.
Basically, you’re not bending to the crowd and you should feel bad about it and go away into a dark hole forever, you rat bastard with your inability to make everyone around you float on pink, fluffy unicorn clouds or whatever.
It’s a head trip.
You’re left with the bag in hand wondering whether or not you are actually wrong or your perspective isn’t shared merely because of misaligned experiences. I’d hazard to assume the latter drives a lot of the issue, but we often ignore that insecurity can drive those responses as well.
I’ll stop a sentence to stress that I’m not elaborately writing “It’s not me, it’s them!”.
I think it’s infinitely more complicated than making it about blame. We’re all incredibly capable of being stupid wrong – even based on our experiences. We make mistakes, we hopefully learn from them, and we come back stronger (again, hopefully).
That said, there is the factor of surrounding ourselves with those who constantly poo-poo on our every decision and action. How do you deal with that? Where is the line where you made a misstep versus being the King of All Fuck-Ups?
I’m finding it harder and harder to 1) deal with folks like that (misery loves company, but I ain’t miserable and I don’t mind quiet) and 2) people who are insistent I navigate those insecurities instead of navigating a path to betterment or simple success. The downstream impact that comes with focusing on those conversations only ends up hurting your work and your mind.
In the spirit of the new year, I say make a couple of mistakes. Don’t look to others for validation on what you want to do or say in your art (so long as you’re not like, espousing disgusting/immoral ideas – grow the fuck up edge-lords), and try to push the misery away. We’re not here for long and we’re not here to please everyone.
Besides, those people? Money bet they’ve never interacted with your work in any meaningful way.