Bike Curious

For me, it started with a joke.

A ridiculous joke pulled from an equally ridiculous story Christa Faust shared with a few folks during Bouchercon 2015.

In short, someone fucked a bike. I think…gross…

But how? What the hell are the logistics of it? For why even?

Who cares? It was funny.

So a running joke began: make a crime-themed anthology of bike erotica. Bizzaro-level insanity. Some folks got the joke and others rolled their eyes because sometimes writers are afraid of their true feelings.

I am not afraid, my friends. I wrote erotica about a bicycle.

Great Jones Street (an awesome short story app – sort of like Netflix but it doesn’t make you stupid) is publishing my first (yes, first) story about a bike that people find TOO GODDAMN SEXY. Seriously, remember those horrific Emmanuelle movies? This is something like that, but the lady with the big boobs is a bike instead. No boobs – couldn’t figure out a way to make that work.

I’m a fucking genius, right? RIGHT?

Anyway, check out this great art:


Gearotica is part of an awesome erotica collection Great Jones Street is releasing for the holiday called My Bloody Valentine.

Here’s their pitch:

My Bloody Valentine – original flash erotica from Great Jones Street. Coming soon!

Featuring brand new fiction throughout the year in 4 ongoing collections.

The White Collection – gentle, polite, sweet.
The Pink Collection – hot, flush, tempting.
The Red Collection – piqued, dangerous, unrelenting.
The Black Collection – you can never go back.

Original, commissioned flash-length erotica by the greatest writers on the planet.

There’s a pretty impressive group of writers too, including:

Carmen Machado, Rob Hart, Craig Wallwork, Steve Rasnic Tem, Andrew Hook, Steve Adams, Carrie Laben, Meg Pokrass, Karin Lowachee, Max Booth III, and John Palisano

Pretty awesome, no?

Go download the app. It’s jammed with short story goodness from hacks like me and motherfucking LEGENDS like George Saunders and Tobias Wolff (WHAAAA?).

Be easy,



There is a LOT going on and I need to be good about promo and whoring and pimping.


So what’s new?

Welp, we got us a new short story with ‘Kiss Me on The Bus’ in the outstanding new anthology, ‘Waiting to Be Forgotten: Stories of Crime and Heartbreak, Inspired by The Replacements‘.

You can buy it by clicking the title.

You can also check out an interview HERE with Tom Leins about the whys and hows regarding my contribution to what is an excellent collection of wonderful stories.

My Derringer-nominated short ‘Separation Anxiety‘ is also available to read for free over at Great Jones Street. It’s a lovely new app built to be the Netflix of short stories. You can find stories from a metric fuck ton of incredible authors old and new (Bullet to The Brain, my personal favorite short story of all time is now available for me to read every two weeks at a whim – LOVE IT). Go download the app – it’s incredibly worth it.

Last and certainly not least. next week sees the release of my new novella, ‘No Happy Endings’. The blog’s jammed with info on how to order and what people I paid (in fake money – HA) had to say about the book. So far, so good.

Still, check out the long list of articles and promos we’re running. I’ll be updating as stuff releases in case you’re a weirdo that needs a collected batch of links regarding my work…


SW Lauden was kind enough to interview me over at his blog this week. CLICK HERE to read more of my pretentious self drone on about my work and other fun stuff. While you’re at it, check out SW’s latest, Grizzly Season. It’s on my TBR pile, but if it matches up to the first in the Greg Salem series, Bad Citizen Corporation, it’s going to be a hell of a ride.

Alex Segura had me over on his newsletter (which you can sign up for HERE). Beyond an interview, Alex runs really cool pieces from other writers, talks about what he’s currently reading/writing/listening to, and provides great links to articles and other pieces from great authors. Worth signing up for! You can also check out Alex’s books HERE.

Spinetingler did a very cool breakdown of No Happy Endings and let me get my spiel out there earlier this month. Go read that HERE. Good folks over there and some great stories too. Take the time to browse their archives!

Dana King was kind enough to let me answer a few questions over at One Bite at a Time. Had a blast answering those questions. While you’re there, check out his books Worst Enemies and Grind Joint from my publisher, Down & Out Books!

Over at Crimespree, Dan & Kate Malmon grilled me (THE INTERVIEW) and did me the honor of dropping a REVIEW for No Happy Endings as well. Verdict: click the goddamn links. Give Crimespree some love and attention too (SUBSCRIBE, is what I’m angling at). They do so very much for the crime fiction community and deserve the love in return.

At Do Some Damage I talk about the eternal void that is releasing a finished work into the wild. The worst of it: work never feels finished.

There’ll be more added as we get closer to release day and beyond!

Lastly, if you’re in the NYC area and need something to do on December 9th, come on out to the release party for No Happy Endings! I’ll be at The Mysterious Bookshop (terrified) and enjoying the company of readers and writers alike. More eyes are always welcome.

Until then, be easy!


Noir at The Bar: Trump Edition

Hola, Trumpketeers!

This Sunday, as in: the last free Sunday we’ll ever have, come on down to Shade in the West Village and hear me and a few other deplorables read some stories inspired by this raging fucking train wreck of an election!

I mean, look at these people. They’ve got the BEST words:
Angel Colon
Hilary Davidson
Rob Hart
Nick Kolakowski
Jason Pinter
Thomas Pluck
Eryk Pruitt
Hosted by Scott Adlerberg and Jen Conley

I’ll be reading an entirely new flash piece, ‘Deplorable Me’. It’s a story with dank memes, shit posts, pornography, conspiracies, and Muppets.

It’s going to be a total disaster. Completely crooked event. Sad!

So anyway, come on down. Vote once at the bar and then vote again on Tuesday.

Click HERE for more details.

Also, peep this totally biased poster!


Be easy,




I joined and gave Medium a shot since some cool kids I know have done it.

Ended up ranting about Luke Cage and some social issues . Check it here.

It’s a pain in the ass sorting out where and when and how we write. The stories are sort of easy – especially when you’re writing to a specific market – but blogging, essays, random whatever-the-fuckery can be a pain. Overall, it’s all screaming at the crowd from your soapbox for a scrap of attention, right?

But sometimes you need to move the soapbox down the block some.

So I think the more “complex” think pieces will be hoisted onto Medium moving forward. It gives me incentive since the piece can be tossed onto random feeds and get my BS into random hands.

Standard promotion and bloggery will still be here – if that’s something you care about.

Anyway, back to the other stuff…day job…blergh.

Be easy,



Waiting on a delayed plane and a late connecting flight, so hey, I’ve got time.


The very last thing I did before leaving my second Bouchercon was shake Walter Mosely’s hand and thank him for being him.

My hands didn’t quit trembling until I had to pay my cabbie outside Louis Armstrong International.

This year’s Bouchercon – Christ – this was something. Given a little time to decompress and allow my shredded throat to not make noise – a motherfucking feat, I know – I still can’t peg this feeling.

I saw people I hold in high regard be recognized, I shared conversation with wonderful NEW people, and I talked shop in front of a willing audience of friends and strangers then signed pages with my name printed in bold letters on them – while one of my writing heroes sat next to me doing the same and at an obvious greater frequency (thanks, alphabetical order).

I sat on a set of dirty steps on Decatur Street and watched the New Orleans sun get mean while I drank coffee with just the right amount of chicory, walked the streets and shared my last beignet in town with some fella on a corner dressed as Darth Vader and dancing to Gary Glitter music.

I shared one of the better meals of my life as a guest of one of the most gracious and generous hosts I’ve ever seen and took every opportunity to show off pictures of my kids to the interested and equally uninterested.

It’s sappy, but yeah, I’m feeling all the feels right now. To live a life where I never felt like I was in the right place and to have a history where I did everything to belong outside of embracing what made me weird, loud, off-kilter – shit, what an amazing feeling to finally, FINALLY feel like I’m home and I only had to be myself. IT’s pretty fucking heavy.

Now I have to wait another year to pick up where we left off.

Big thanks to Ro Cuzon for the jambalaya and having me over to his beautiful home, to Jon and Ruth Jordan, Judy Bobalik, and Erin Mitchell for putting together an awesome program, and super big thanks to Kate Malmon for being an awesome panel mod!

Slán abhaile, we’ll raise our glasses again very soon.